And Dance By The Light Of The Moon

Sometime the best days we have in life are completely unplanned. A long week and a nerve wracking work day was causing me to sprout gray hair like the time lapse photography you seen on national geographic. Every inch of me was on edge and just needing a Thelma and Louise moment, but being a mom and having responsibilities we would have to water that down a bit, ok maybe quite a bit. Angela and I already had said we were doing something together that evening so I dialed her up and said, what about a massage? On the other end of the line all I heard was "YEEEEESSSS!!!!", nuff said I called and made appointments for use to get a two hour massage, two hours of well needed tension relief. The rub down was just what we needed and we walked out of the salon completely relaxed and relieved. I think if we were cartoon characters we would have entered with bags and suitcases on our shoulders and then it would have shown us leaving with clouds under our feet, ahhhh. The evening at that point had just begun and we continued our adventure (lame I know) at Houlihan's where we enjoyed some delicious appetizers and sinful martinis. We spent almost two hours at dinner, just talking and enjoying the evening out. I love nights like this where we just get to be carefree again, and the conversation just flows. During dinner we both get told by our husbands to enjoy ourselves and not to come home before 9:00 that night. Finishing dinner we notice that we are still not past our curfew and make the decision to meander around target for a bit, a movie option is discussed but we are both a little to tired to take on a two hour saga at 10:00. As I am headed to Target, I get a phone call and a little girls voice says, "mommy, do you have Lavender Lamb in your car?" A quick glance in my backseat quickly brings me back to reality as I look at the two car seats and in one of them a well loved purple lamb is slumped. "Yes I do Havely" I respond, and she begs me to bring him home so that she can go to sleep. It has been a long week for her just starting school, and the husband decides that the Lamb is more important the the curfew so we hurry and head home. I get in the house and take Lavender Lamb upstairs to find a sleeping damsel that had crashed out waiting for her security to show. I kissed her hand, tucked her in, and put the giraffe like lamb under her arm. Angela and I spent the next two hours listening to music and talking, and then when we decided that our energy was spent and bed was calling, the power went out. Black, dark, holy cow this house is dark when the power is off. Cries from upstairs come immediately and I try to navigate up the staircase in the dark. Jaaron is searching for a light source (why do we never have this stuff handy?!) and I am sure I look like an idiot getting through the dark by touch (ha ha no one can see me though). The howling gets closer and I realize Havely has made her way out of her room, I grab her and head into Grant's room. By this time a light has made it's way up the stairs and we navigate back to the family room, kids wide awake and scared. We sat in the family room and waited, and after about 20 minutes we realized that something was really wrong and it wasn't coming back on anytime soon. The entire canyon is dark and our neighborhood is dark and silent. With everyone being up, the kids were curious, so we decided to head outside. A nice breeze was blowing and without all of the city light pollution you could see the stars quite well. With a touch of silvery moonlight illuminating the yards, the kids danced around in the yard and played with the dogs. They played with wonder and amazement that it was so different than anything they had experienced. It was nice to get outside, even though it was almost 1 AM by this time. This was one of those moments where you just sit back and take it all in. This isn't going to happen on a daily basis, and sometimes you just have to abandon the rules. We played outside for about 30 minutes and then headed inside to hope for some current to arrive and to put two tired kids to bed. The house was hot and we couldn't find a way to turn a light on for them, so it was either have a slumber party in the family room, head home with Angela (at this point she took an exit to her fully powered home, complete with functioning AC) or wait for CPS to save us. After we started discussing our options (by this time the entire clan is cranky), we begin to argue, even Havely is interjecting opinions into the conversation. And then bam! Power is back, sign of relief! I scoop up the girl, he grabs the boy (who is almost bear like) and we put them to bed. We are ready to crash as well, but we head outside one last time to take a look at how different it all looked with all the light, half of the stars looked like they had gone to bed for the night too. I finally hit my fluffy pillow and as I am falling into a coma, I think of the days moments, random and by chance and I smile. I like the randomness of life sometimes, it creates some of the best memories. 8.27.11

Kindergarten and booster seats

What a week. In four days I feel like time has aged me a year or more and my kids became older in a blink. Havely became a big Kindergartner this week. On Monday, wait rewind, on Sunday night the kinder clouds rolled in and the tension turned high. I was trying to prepare her for the week and becoming a school kid, and she of course was finding ways to talk me out of it. We picked out an outfit, snuggled, and read "The Kissing Hand", and as I read about little Chester being brave and going to school, my eyes stung with hot tears that I quickly wiped away. I tucked her in, and told her how exciting the next morning would be, turned on the noise and walked out of the room. I then headed down the stairs and grabbed the nearest phone for mom support. She comforted me, just as she had always done and then told me it was going to go great, Havely is going to love school. I went to bed that night with anxiety and awoke at 4 am, going through my mental checklist making sure everything was going to be perfect. At 5 I finally got out of bed to begin the execution of my list. First get me ready, it's the first day of school, I have to look good walking her up there right? Next go wake up the big school girl, OK this is where things started to go south. I snuggled up to her and said, "good morning my little kindergartner" and she immediately started crying. She told me to go away she needed more sleep, then she sternly stated that she was not going to kinder and that was that. I helped her feet to the floor, directed her to the sink, brushed her teeth for her, and got her dressed, all while she cried and pleaded with me to not go to school. I got her downstairs and attempted to do her hair perfectly to match the outfit that I carefully picked out the night before. We made her favorite breakfast and then I gave it my best shot to take some first day of school photos. She fought me every step of the way. Then we began the walk up to the school, and half way there Havely starts dragging her feet and of course I get worried that we are going to be late, and not on the first day! I asked her if she wanted me to push Grant and her dad could carry her. She simply stated, "no mom, I want you to go get the car!" Jaaron scooped her up and carried her to the corner of the school grounds, walking up the hill, she turned to us and said, "I think my batteries are running out." This kid cracks me up! We headed into the school and as we walked through the halls, I felt her hand tighten on mine. This is when mom's heart starts to hurt. I knew she was truly scared. We got to the class and it was time for us to say goodbye, and she panicked. She was in a place that she hadn't really been before with complete strangers, and we were about to turn and walk away. I assured her that she would be okay and gave the tightest hug I could. I kissed her hand and told her to hold onto it tightly, and I would be with her all day. We left and I just felt empty. I didn't cry, I just felt lost. We had breakfast and I just hung around the house waiting for the clock to turn to 2:20 so I could head back to the school and pick her up. I was anxious and excited and ready to reclaim my child. We waited in line and they brought them out and she ran and jumped into Jaaron's arms. I couldn't wait to hear all about her first day. We got in the car and I started asking questions and she just shut me down at each one, then told me she really didn't want to talk. We came home and she headed upstairs to play, and she just wanted to be alone for a while. I was at a loss, I just wanted her to blab to me all about every detail, and she just wanted to decompress from the day. The rest of the week was pretty much the same daily routine, and I was really getting worried that she was going to just hate school. I was trying to keep a positive attitude and show my happy face the entire week, but it was starting to break me down. On Wednesday I came home later than usual and found that Jaaron had fed Grant at the table and he did great. He was happy and told me about how Grant is ready for his own seat at the table and that we were done with the highchair. It was at this moment that I lost it. I suddenly knew why the black cloud was following me all week. My babies were growing up and I did not like it. I couldn't believe we were at the point of having a kid in school and another that was becoming so independent. I know that this is a common theme in my blog, but I really just feel like I have blinked and weeks go by. In the moment it feels like you are just living, but when you look back it happened so fast. I am happy that my kids are doing so well and becoming these little people that can do so much, but I just wish I could sometimes just cuddle and love on them or revisit times in their lives. I am glad that I started this blog, it will give me something to always look back on, and something that my kids can read and smile about. Ferris Bueller said it perfectly: Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. 08.26.11

All that we owe our parents we repay through our children.

Ok I just spoke about how I am becoming my mother, now let's flip the coin and discuss how I am raising mini me one and two. My kids are so much like me it is scary. I remember my mother always telling me that the reason my dad and I were like rams butting heads is because we were so much alike. At the time, of course I was just leaving the scene of losing an argument with him and I would think, are you crazy? I am NOTHING like him! Now that I am older, and of course wiser (yeah right), I am realizing that I am a lot like both of my parents, but my stubborn attitude surely comes from the good ol' Kent Broadbent himself. You bring up my dad's attitude or mention the term stubborn and Kent in the same sentence at any family gathering and everyone just nods their heads in agreement and then there is usually a story that follows about how my dad would do this when faced with adversity, or how this fight came to be between them. That's one of the reason Broadbent gatherings are so fun. Well now it is my turn to raise a child of my likeness and it is tough. Havely is so damn determined and strong willed, I really have to learn to hold back sometimes because I find myself wanting to knock her into the middle of next week. She is now 5 and pushes the mom buttons on a daily basis. When I ask her to do things she always has some smart remark that usually follows. I applaud her wit and quick thinking however if she catches me on a bad day it might lead to her demise. I also watch my sons tenacity and unyeilding behavior, and with this one, I may have a permanent mark left in my chops from biting my lip so much. Lately though I have been given a slight bit of comic relief to this whole adventure. I am not the only one with kids anymore, and to my great joy I am watching Angela's kids personalities develop. They are only six months old, but the professional instigator in the Broadbent bunch now has a clone coming along. Jackson loves to spur his sister until he gets a reaction from her. The term the apple doesn't fall far from the tree used to makes me fear what was coming my way, but now it puts a small grin, like a grinch on my face when I know what is coming Angela's way. Remember all the times that you used to do ANYTHING to get a rise out of me Ang? Well be ready to eat a big fat plate of humble pie, your son is going to give little Angela a run for her money. I feel really bad for Genevieve, but thankfully she has Aunt Mac to help her through how to overcome the prodder that is her brother. I know I have a trying road ahead of me raising little Mackenzie and Kent, however I will love the front row seat that I have to watching the replicate of miss Angela the Instigator, yes peeps that was her superhero name... 08.14.11

Mother, the ribbons of your love are woven around my heart.

It's happened, I have become my mother. Not only do I see her when I glance in the mirror as I go by with a load of laundry, my mouth tends to open wide a spew the very sentences that she used to let loose on me and my sisters. The first few times it happened I cupped my mouth in horror and drew back, did I just say that??!!! Now that I have two children I find that it happens more and more, I think I have diarrhea of Valisms coming out of me. Stop torturing your brother, do you want me to give you a reason to cry, I don't care who started it, go play in the street. Ok maybe that last one was a wee bit of a stretch, but anyway, these are the things apparently that my brain is full of because I don't control it, it just happens. Not all of the sayings are bad. I find myself describing things as nice and big all the time, these are things my mother also does. Kenz, go over there and get a nice fresh loaf of french bread. For dinner we are having spaghetti and a nice green tossed salad. No mean food at the Broadbent sacred dinner, no way (I will discuss "sacred dinner" in another post). It's funny to sit and think about how we become our parents, at least I think that we do if our parents did a good job and were present through out our lives. I was fortunate enough to have parents who cared enough to say these things and care about what I was getting into and if my sister was pushing me to the brink of beating the snot out of her. I was lucky enough that every day I was fed with nice food and our table was never empty, with food or family. I never ate alone in front of a television in an empty room, and my dinner never was crafted by Swanson's. Now that I am a parent, I get to carry on the same things. I say the same phrases, but I also make sure that my kids understand what family is. Almost every weekend lately we all get together, (my sister and her family) and spend the day swimming or playing and then have a family meal. I watch both Angela and I repeat sayings and actions that were taught to us many years ago, but apparently had a huge impact on us. Both of us rock and sing to our kids to get them to calm, something that was also done to me many times when tears were flowing or I just needed a hug. I know in time I will hear Angela utter the words that I have about stopping fighting and giving her kids a reason to cry. I already hear her use the term nice when describing food. These are just a sample of the things that I am stamping on my kids that my mother imprinted on me. I am the mother that I am today, because I was given such a wonderful person to raise me. I cannot imagine what I would have become had I not been urged daily to become the woman that I am. When I fell, not only was I pushed back up and redirected, it's like my hand was held until I was confident to let go again and try it on my own. I know I am a good mom, and I know the reason I am is because I was given a great teacher. Being a mom isn't something you can learn in a hospital class, it isn't something you can read in some book, and it isn't something that you can sit and discover yourself. Being a mom is ingrained in you, it is something that you learn from the first day you open your eyes and look up and she smiles and says she will protect you forever. It just took me until I was the person looking down to notice what a big job it is, and how much love and patience and energy goes into it. Thank you mom for teaching me how to be a mom, and my kids thank you too. Now I am going to go eat a nice big slice of pie... 08.14.11

Time moves in one direction, memory in another.

Two weeks and my little girl starts kindergarten. I have muttered the words, "where did the time go?" and "how did this happen?" way too much over the past few months. The day we registered her for Kinder, I walked out of the elementary school hand in hand with my husband and my eyes filled with tears. I cannot believe she is old enough to go in there daily and sit in those dwarf size chairs and walk down the hall and learn from a complete stranger. Am I supposed to trust these people, are they going to make sure she is safe? Is she going to like school? Is she going to make friends or be the kid who does her own thing? So many unknowns. Every adventure and new chapter in life has too many unknowns, but somehow we make it through. I became a mom in a moment and it changed my life completely, and there were trying times and so many wonderful memories, but each day we get one day older and that all adds up, quickly. All we have are the memories and the way we handled each day. Havely has been the most wonderful daughter any mother could ask for, and I get to be her mom. She has made my heart swell since day one, and she has entertained all of us for years now. I love her personality and I see so much of myself in her. I know she is confident and independent, and I will have to remind myself that this is what I do love about her when she is pushing that self determination against me. I have put some photos of her on here, her transition from baby girl to little girl to school girl. It is ironic that lately she has been carrying this small silver clock around that she found in a cabinet in my bedroom. She takes it everywhere with her and tells me it is a magic clock and it turns colors and can take us to anywhere in time. She always tells me that she is going to dates in the future, and all I want to do it grab it and turn it back a few years and make it slow down. Love you Havely, you will do great in school! 08.11.11

Dog Days of Summer

I have no idea who came up with that saying or what it exactly means. We have had over 45 days of over 100 degree heat here in south Texas and there is no end in sight. Hurricane Don began to head our way, but apparently it was no match for extreme drought and ran off into the gulf. We have not been able to do too much outside, but we have taken advantage of the summer fun and enjoyed some family time outside as well as inside. The kids are growing just like the sunflowers outside, quickly and everyday it seems that they blossom more. Havely is already 5 and is enjoying her last summer before she become a big Kindergartner in the fall. I cannot believe how much she has changed and how smart she is. Sometimes her wits add so much to the day, but sometimes they turn on me and can light my nerves on fire in an instant. She is gorgeous, and her skin is tanning and those blue eyes of hers just sparkle. She is testing at a second grade level and I think school will go well for her. I am just worried she might not be challenged enough and get bored. A bored Havely is one who wanders and talks and gets into a bit of trouble. I am gathering things for her to begin this adventure. This past weekend Havely, Angela and I went school shopping. We had a fantastic day. Lunch then shopping, and hearing Havely tell us that certain items were wonderful and gorgeous, I love her expressions. Today I ordered her dinosaur backpack, a pink one with spikes, she will surely standout.
Grant is changing even faster. He is not my baby anymore, he is a little boy that collects cars and plays with bugs. He is talking and is interacting with us for many things. He also signs and that is helping with some of his frustration with the words not coming out quite right. He loves his cars. He will carry up to 6 of them around at once, having them stacked in his chubby little arms and hugging them to his chest. I love to engage in play with him just as much as I like being an observer to his world. He is so smart and takes everything in before he makes an decision or takes action. He has already figured out the baby gates, goes up and down stairs, and can climb on most things. He has even figured out if he can't reach something to push something over to it, to use as a stool to reach it. He is the cutest boy I have ever laid eyes on, and I am not the only one to voice this opinion. He has so many expressions and I am sure that when he gets older and has friends, he will be the life of the room with them, just as he is to us right now.
Havely and Grant's relationship is like a roller coaster, but with mostly ups. They fight as most siblings do, most of the time it is because Havely is being bossy and tries to control him, and he in turn takes a chunk of that nice blond hair and yanks it. He is holding his own the best he knows how, but Havely better get all the jabs in while she can because in about two years he will be able to squash her like a bug. The moments that take my breath away are when they sit and read together, or spend hours playing together. Lately they have been playing in the game room in the kitchen, Grant is the screaming short order cook and Havely is the waitress. It is simply hilarious. I love going to the cafe to get bowls full of plastic food and watching them play, it is one of the best places in town.
Jackson and Genevieve are growing quickly as well, seems to be the theme around these parts. They are talking like crazy and are close to becoming somewhat mobile. I really hope Angela and Keith are ready for a dual tornado, because those kids are about to rock their world. They know their general surroundings now, and have also become familiar with me and my family. We have been spending a lot of time together recently and I love that when those kids hear me or see me they grin and get chubby cheeks and do the baby excited kick and arms flailing, basically it says, AUNT MACK ROCKS!!! Watching the kids grow is only half of the equation that I love right now. Watching my sister and Keith grow as parents has been just as delightful. They handle the duo well and I am proud of how they work together so well. It has been so satisfying to see them with their kids and watch all four of them as a family unit. It makes my heart swell and I also dream of the days when all of us can pack up the runts and head out on vacations and mini adventures together!
Overall summer has been good, we have gotten in load of pools day, Havely is now a proficient swimmer, can dive for rings and even can now do flips underwater. She has amazed even herself with her aqua abilities. Not to be outdone, Grant is a little waterbug too. We had to get him a puddle jumper just so he could keep up with his sister. He has no fear of the water, which fills me with terror, and jumps in all on his own. We are going to attempt swim lessons with him this fall, with hopes of the possibility of putting a pool in the backyard come springtime. A large investment, but I know it will get it use.
The other night we spent time playing outside in the evening and enjoying a "cooler" day (I think it was only 92). We colored on the sidewalk with chalk, ran around with the dogs and just enjoyed the night. It's summer nights like this that I thrive on. The nights were for just a bit, life seems damn near perfect. The time when you just live in the moment and take every bit in, in hopes that it will become permanently imprinted in your memory for later. We ignored bedtimes, we ran without shoes, we got dirty. The dogs ran around without any restrain, and the kids laughed in delight as they rounded the house chasing each other. Jaaron and I just laughed and got right into the mix. This is my definition of the "dog days of summer". 08.02.11