Healing Weekend

This weekend was for repair of the heart and the opening of new doors. Saturday I went with Angela to Lockhart, TX to bury Alison's ashes at a small country cemetery, and then went to her parents farm to plant a tree and spread the rest of her ashes. Seeing the box of her ashes was much harder for my heart than I had anticipated. As I stared blankly at the box, I just could not understand how my friend that I love so deeply could be neatly packed into such a small container. It made my heart heavy and ache so badly. At the ranch we all took a shovel full of soil and helped plant a live oak tree in her memory. Each person shared a memory of Ali and talked about how she had such a special place in their lives. This woman was just amazing to have touched so many people so deeply! Her father told a very touching story about the dragonfly:

The Dragonfly Story

Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in awhile one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going about. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.

"Look!" said one of the water bugs to another. "one of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you think she is going?" Up, up, up it slowly went....Even as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn't return...

"That's funny!" said one water bug to another. "Wasn't she happy here?" asked a second... "Where do you suppose she went?" wondered a third.

No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled. Finally one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered its friends together. "I have an idea". "The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why."

"We promise", they said solemnly.

One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up, he went. Before he knew what was happening, he had broke through the surface of the water and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above.

When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn't believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings...The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved his wings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly!!

Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere. By and by the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad to rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were scurrying around, just as he had been doing some time before.

The dragonfly remembered the promise: "the next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why." Without thinking, the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water...

"I can't return!" he said in dismay. "At least, I tried. But I can't keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new body. I guess I'll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they'll understand what has happened to me, and where I went."

And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air.......

I found this story very fitting and it just stuck with me. After the tree planting we went and spread the remaining ashes by the pond on the farm, a place that Ali loved to sit, relax, and read. Then we enjoyed each other's company over some delicious food at the house. It was good to hear everyone's memories and to plant some life that will carry on her memory. I know this was a small step toward mending my heart, day by day it will get better, but I will never ever forget! 11.14.09

Sweet November

Hello November, this is the month where things are going to be different, I just know it. Woke up this morning to a cool quiet house, with an extra hour added to my day. Got to sit in bed and enjoy the quiet, and thought back to the month behind me and hoped all that had happened was surely behind me. Havely got up and we cuddled for a while then came down and settled in for a great morning. Turned the TV to Mickey Mouse, got the paper, and had her help me make biscuits for breakfast. Enjoyed a cup of coffee (decaf) with my favorite pumpkin spice cream, and a couple of biscuits while I got to see Havely dance to the many songs that came on. She is incredibly entertaining if you ever get the chance to watch her move! Went to Mimi's cafe for lunch to have lunch with Chris, Alison's husband. It was good to catch up on how he was doing and talk about Ali and dealing with life without her. I know there are going to be bad and good days, but today was good and I know she was with us. Came home to a quiet house and got to enjoy a nice fall afternoon nap, love those! Woke up to being kicked in the belly several times, this kiddo is a strong one and can wake me from a deep sleep anytime he feels the need! Got up and got to cooking dinner, nice homemade lasagna, and also made it a point to get some ice cream cones for dessert. Waiting for everything to cook I took a moment to look around. My kitchen smells amazing with dinner in the oven, and I sat on the couch and looked out in my backyard. Havely and Jaaron were playing on her swingset and they both had the biggest smiles on their faces. Laramie is chasing them as they swing back and fourth and I can hear them laughing as Havely gets higher in the air. As I sit back and reflect on what I have I am glad November is here, but more than that I am so grateful for all that surrounds me. When I go through difficult times I have an amazing support system, and I have so many things in my life that most people dream about. We had a great evening, wonderful lasagna and some messy ice cream cones. I read a story to my daughter, and got a big hug and kiss before she went to bed. So if this is a preview of how November is going to go, I can surely handle this, hello November!!! 11.01.09

Halloween 2009

Once again our neighborhood comes through. Gorgeous fall day, 74 degrees, I took a little sock hop gal down to the island in our neighborhood for the Halloween party. We have this event every year and it makes me love raising my family in this community. We have pizza and snacks, and get to see all the kids in their costumes. I have to say this year (and every year) my child looked the cutest of them all. Then after the party it was on to some serious Trick or Treating. Everyone was generous with candy, she ended up filling two pumkins! I have to say the lady that "forgot" to get candy and said her husband was out getting it was the lame-o of the evening, I mean who does that? We ended up back at the house at about 7:30 pm, and Havely quickly poured out her loot and aunt Wawa and her began to take inventory. We got to talk to Opa and Nana on the webcam, and Havely got to feed a silly Opa some treats. She then played monster with Wawa and Keith was her night in shining armour, coming to her rescue just when the monster was in stricking distance! She picked Keith for stories and he got to put her to bed after a long day of candy and fun. Halloween this year was definetely a success! 10.31.09

Bachelorette Nights

So back in the day (pre-marriage) I used to have nights to myself where I didn't have anyone to worry about except me. Ate anything I wanted (chicken wings and ice cream), and watched movies in my pj's. Well I have a family now and things have changed a bit, added a husband, daughter, two dogs and a cat all added to the mix. Well every third night it's just me and my girls, and sometimes it's chaotic and sometimes it's perfect. Tonight was one that was perfect, maybe not by anyone else's standard, but by mine.
It was a soggy fall day, chilly and wet all day long so it was an inside only day. We were supposed to be enjoying a sunny day at Six Flags, but decided to cancel due to the fine weather. So after breakfast we headed to "the Target" and got her a new game and some hot chocolate. We headed home and put in the new computer game and Havely just amazed me with her intelligence. She was able to match three letters words without any pictures or clues, smart kid I have! After playing some games we laid down and took a nice long afternoon nap listening to the rain. For the evening I asked Havely to pick our dinner menu and she decided on some delicious Mac and Cheese. So I took time slaving over the burner making the blue box and we pulled up some chairs in the living room and put in a movie. We sat down and ate our gourmet dinner and watched Monsters vs. Aliens. I loved her interpretation of what was happening. Then she cuddled up on the couch with me and we finished the movie together. I have to confess, I didn't really pay attention to the movie, watching my daughter was more entertaining. As I sat with her my arms wrapped around her I realized that our bachelorette dinners and evenings are going to be limited. I was quickly reminded by some kicks and jabs in my belly that soon we are adding a boy to the mix. So at this time I will take my girls time in by the minute and soak it all up. Sooner than I know I will be adding posts about my evenings that make my heart swell with my daughter...and my son. 10.11.09

A good friend is hard to find, hard to lose, and impossible to forget...

We have lots of people that we interact with in life, some make a difference, some are just there, and a small few become part of our heart. I was so fortunate that in my lifetime I have been able to have a friend that mirrored my soul and made me a better person by having her in my life. Alison Berry, a simple name for a very charismatic girl, you couldn't find another person with more life in her. When I was with her there was no such thing as time, breakfast on a Saturday would last until 4, a quick coffee would be at least 3 hours, and when we cracked a bottle of wine (or more), forget about it ever ending. We laughed together, cried together, helped others together, and had plans on doing all that until we were wrinkled sour grapes. On October 1, 2009 the course of our plans was changed and she was taken from my world in an automobile accident. At this time the pain is immense and I just cannot imagine how I will be able to get by without her in my life. When you lose a piece of your puzzle it will just never look the same. I loved her so much and would give anything to hear her voice one more time, make one last day of plans, sing one more song at the top of our lungs, and just get one more hug. I love you Ali and you will always be part of my life. 10.04.09

It's a Boy!!!

We'll the viewing party (ultrasound) was September 24, 2009 and the Thomas family went with anticipation to find out who would be joining us. Havely didn't really understand what was going on, but she was so excited to see the baby that was in mommy's tummy. We began the ultrasound and with in minutes, my son opened his legs wide up and showed us what he had. Jaaron wasn't paying attention, he was dealing with getting Havely comfortable. I glanced over to him and said Jaaron look, it's a boy. The look on my husband's face was priceless. I could see that he was elated, while I on the otherhand was in total shock. I had been thinking for weeks that it was a girl and just mentally going through the pregnancy thinking I had ladybugs things to buy to decorate. We left the office, Jaaron feet not even touching the ground, Havely leading me to the door because I was in such disbelief. I just don't know what to do with a boy, we have been a group of all females for so long. After I got over the shock though I settled into excitement about the little guy that I would see soon. He is going to take my heart just like Havely took Jaaron's and Opa's. I have good friends with boys that are offering advice, clothing, and laughs. We are looking forward to meeting you Grant Robert Thomas, see you in January!!! 09.24.09

Trip to Wyoming 2009

Every year we get a chance to travel back up to the Rockies and enjoy some family time and relaxation. This year we had a great time. We spent two evenings in Alpine, had a family party that 79 people attended, and got to watch the video of my Grandparents who are in their late 70's skydiving! We then traveled to Salt Lake City to have another family get together with the crazy bunch there, and again ate too much, but got to go to the bakery and enjoy the best pasties ever! The next day it was on to Wyoming for a week and the weather decided to show us what it feels like to be in the mountains again. For the beginning of the week we enjoyed being cozy in some long pants and sweatshirts, which was welcome coming from 100 degree temps in San Antonio. Through out the week we enjoyed playing croquet, eating (mom's cooking and taco time), and relaxing. Havely spent most of her time in her cabin cooking up some delicious plastic food, and entertaining her Nana and Opa. For two evenings Havely got to go see the horses and Opa saddled them up for her and she got her first chance to ride. She loved it, her face was glowing with happiness! Then the problem was to tell her that she eventually had to get off, she pretty much would have rode the horse home if she could have. We had a wonderful visit, got to just sit out on the patio and enjoy the weather, the food, and the conversation. It is hard to live this far away from Wyoming, but Texas is where are hearts and feet are firmly planted. 8/30/09

Giant Blue Goat

Let me just start off by telling you that my daughter is a little abnormal. Not crazy weird abnormal (well sometimes), but she just likes unusual things. At the beginning of April, right before she was turning the big 3, she became fascinated with goats. Not just any goat, blue goats. Now like any parent I wanted to make sure that she got the present she desired so much for the birthday. So I got on the Disney website and ordered the Baby Einstein blue goat. Thank god it arrived on her birthday. I waited for Jaaron to get home and then we let her open the box. The look on her face and they way she screamed "it's a blue goat!" was enough happiness for me to live on for a year, I have never seen excitement like that. Now blue goat sleeps with her and he has traveled to many destinations with us, even the beach. Now just recently this story has developed even a bigger twist. There is a mysterious GIANT BLUE GOAT that comes into her room at night and tries to steal the baby blue goat from her. I know that kids at this age develop imaginary friends sometimes and I guess hers is a giant blue goat, I mean why not? So now everywhere we go, and I do mean everywhere, she tells anyone she comes in contact with about this giant blue goat. It is pretty entertaining and she discusses him with such exuberance that it makes the story even more entertaining. She tells me that she yells at him to go away at night, and apparently during the day he works at a pizza parlour. Ahh the life of a goat. I am sure there aren't many little girls out there who have blue goats as friends, and I would like to think my child is just very inventive. Who knows what's next for the Thomas Troop...
August 14, 2009

It's Already August???

Well everyone has to start somewhere and this is my beginning to blogging. 2009 has been a good year for us but as usual the clock seems to be spinning at a faster rate than we thought possible. Jaaron and I finally got away for a "big kid" vacation in February and had a great time soaking up the sights and sounds of Vegas. The spring was filled with visits from Opa and Nana and Grandma and Grandpa Broadbent even made a trip south in April. Miss Havely turned the big three in April and was spoiled by aunts and grandparents of course. We took a trip with Opa and Nana in May to the Texas coast and stayed in a condo for a few days, we had a great time and of course our little beach baby didn't want to leave! At the end of May, Jaaron and I found out that we are going to have Baby T the sequel in January and couldn't be more excited about it. The summer months have been too hot to handle so not much activity has gone on, but will resume when the sun decides to give us a break. We have decided to take our own break and are leaving for Wyoming next week. Getting back to the Rockies and some nice cool air will do the entire family good, I think going to Wyoming is better than any therapy money can buy.