Life is like lemonade, and I like mine just the way it is.

Over the years I have been through ups and downs as anyone has. I have had many experiences that make me who I am today, and I have encountered several people that have had an impact on my life, good and bad. Recently a friend and patient of mine passed away and this is not the first time I have dealt with this. As I drove home the day I found out, I thought of all the other people that I have gotten close to over the years in my career and it scares me to think that eventually I will lose these people too. The pain of losing them is hard, but to think of my life without them is just ridiculous. I have enjoyed my moments with them and each of their life stories has enriched mine. I am happy that one of my good friends, Esther Gates, is a 90 year old woman who is no where near slowing down, heck this woman invented priority mail! So I am enjoying the people that enrich my life, even though I know sometimes I will suffer a loss, but all in all it is worth it. There is also a different side of this coin. There are people that have come into my life who have had a negative impact overall. I am a forgiving person at heart. I have given lots of people second chances, and even a few people have gotten third chances. But once you cause hurt to me or my family, you might as well have moved to Russia, because you will not be back in the good graces of this family again. My husband and I have worked hard to get where we are in life, and we are extremely happy. We love our life just the way it is. We don't feel the need to add more drama or take away the upcoming drama that may unfold. The recipe is just right, and I think we have just the perfect blend, no more lemons needed. 03.15.11

A Two-riffic Day for the Sitzman's

After many months of carrying around the world's fastest growing beach ball (filled with sand of course) my sister decided that February 7, 2011 would be the day that she met the two dumplings she was baking in there. The c-section was scheduled and plans were made, days were taken off, plane tickets were bought. The day before the release of thing one and thing two, I could tell my little sister was nervous, but in a good way. I could see that she had so many wonders and worries going on in her head, but didn't know how to arrange them all to make sense of them. I knew she was nervous about the c-section, and as anyone would be the gore that comes with it. Most of all though I could see the amazement and shock that it had truly come to this point and she tomorrow was about to become a mother. This wasn't just a normal, you are going to be a mom in nine months (by the way it is actually 10), it was after years of trying, crying and hoping this is really happening. There are no words for moments like this, only support and taking it in mentally. I was so excited for her and Keith, and to be honest I was excited for myself. I finally was ready to get a taste of the "auntie" ways, at this point I had been the loan parent of the trio and I was ready to have a kid(s) to kiss on and when they started leaking in anyway hand them back and say, "I think they need you." I was also ready to have someone join Jaaron and I on the parent side of the fence. It is hard to be the one with the kids, the lame ones that can't do anything fun. Hey would you guys like to go to a bar and watch the game? No thanks have these kids things here, but would you like to head to chuck-e-cheese with us? There is pizza involved and games too! Sadly no one jumped to our side. Now they have to**insert evil laugh here** any way I digress.

On the morning of February seventh, I got up early, got ready for work (I was only working a half day) and headed in. On my commute though, all of a sudden I freaked out. What am I doing? Why am I not there? They are cutting my sister open and I am going to work? Who am I? WTF???!!! So of course I did what any normal Broadbent would do at this moment, I called my mom because I knew she was freaking out waaaayyyy worse than me. When you are losing it, call someone who is a little more over the edge than you. Mom was also a mess, and being so far away was killing her. She had the same why's that I did and we lamented on the decisions we had made and then promised that if either of us heard anything we would call instantly! Ok now onto watching the clock for a couple of hours, I am sorry were you talking to me? Oh I was watching my cell phone, waiting for it to ring, everything else around me is just noise, like a annoying fly, shoo shoo-go away! My patient is here, um do they know I am a basket case today, they do, ok good send them in!

10:07 am the signal from a simple text on my cell phone came in, the sound of an angel, and I found out that I was an aunt of two very healthy babies, and my sister was doing wonderful. This is when I did the happy dance, huge sigh of relief, and an overwhelming feeling of joy that I was an aunt! That day could not roll on fast enough, and finally after pushing my last patient out the door as fast as possible (they look at you funny when you pull their walker faster and make them pick up the pace, but speed is good grandma, enjoy it), I raced to the hospital to meet the dynamic duo. After getting cavity searched and x-rayed, I finally got to go to my sisters room. I walked in and I was greeted with my sister laying in bed with Jackson Davis and Genevieve Paige and it was instant love. I have no idea which part I liked more that day, the introduction of two perfect new family members or seeing my sister as a mother for the first time. It was sublime, and there was no way I could describe the feeling. After cuddles and kisses and some stories and diaper changing, I asked how they felt as parents. They both said it was all so surreal, but as I watched them tell the tale of how their precious babies came into this world I saw the amazement of life and the joy of becoming a parent on their face. And nothing had to be said, but at this point I sat back and my heart yet lifted again, and for selfish reasons this time, now I had someone on my side of the fence. But the thing about being over here is, only you know how special it is to discover the feeling and intense love of being a parent. And it is more majestic than anything else you will ever experience in life. 02.08.11

One year ago I met the most adorable boy

Happy Birthday to my baby boy. Grant is now a year old, my little guy is growing so fast.
That one line I had written before I left to go have dinner and celebrate Grant's very first birthday, and I intended to finish this post later that evening when he was sound asleep in his bed. I had no idea that we were about to face the most frightening night as parents.
We went to dinner that evening to celebrate BG's first birthday, and how happy we are to have him in our family. Life is just better! As we sat at the table and discussed our day with each other, I fed Grant and then he began coughing. Well he has a horrible gag reflex and before we knew it all the Gerber goodness was all over me, him and the floor. I began cleaning him up, told the waitress to box it up and we headed home. When we got home he seemed fine and we were sure the coughing is what lead to the eruption at the restaurant. I went to put him to bed and then he became fussy again, not just I don't want to sleep, but I am in pain help me fussy. I gave him Tylenol thinking that it was his teething, and finally he drifted into dreaming. I laid him down and went downstairs to relax. After this moment everything is basically a blur. He woke up screaming 45 minutes after being laid down. From this point on we could NOT get him comfortable. He would pass out from shear exhaustion on us and then when we laid him in his bed, BAM crying again. Finally at about 11 that evening I threw in the towel and told Jaaron I was just going to sleep in his room and watch him. I laid there for about 3 minutes when I heard his breathing change. I was sure he was going to throw up again so I jumped up and sat him forward. As soon as my hands slid under his tiny arms, his entire body began to quake and his gaze was far off and distant. I screamed for help and it seemed like minutes before my husband came bursting into the room. Through panic and tears I stammered, "I think he is having a seizure!" Jaaron swept him from my arms and we immediately got him in the car to head to the hospital. Our neighbor came over and watched Havely and we were off. The drive to the hospital again seemed to last forever, it was like I was frozen and things were just moving to slow. Jaaron held his hand on the drive and he seized several more times. When I parked I told him to get Grant and meet me at the desk. I stepped out of the car and set out on a dead sprint. I don't think I have ran that fast since I was timed in High School. They took us back immediately and took his temperature. 105, he came in at 105. All of a sudden I felt like I was from the outside watching this happen. I know kids die or have permanent damage from fevers this high, how did I let this happen. We were rushed down a long hallway and taken to a room where we were met with a team of nurses and a physician. He was given meds immediately. Grant was still in a far off stare, it was like he just wasn't present, no crying, no big response. Over the course of the next few hours we put our son through x-rays, blood work, urine analysis, two IV's, one round of potent antibiotics, a cat scan of his head, and the one thing that almost killed us as parents, a lumbar spinal tap. During all of these procedures I felt completely helpless, but when it came time to do the spinal tap, I truly felt like my heart was just being stomped on repeatedly while I heard him scream in fear and pain and I could not be there to comfort him. The nurse who held him sang in his ear to try and calm him and I fell into my husbands arms hoping that my son was okay and that this nightmare would end soon. As soon as they finished I scooped up my son and assured him that I was there for him and turned to see my husband sweating and flushed. He just turned and walked out of the room. Grant finally calmed and I silently cried, while i repeatedly kissed his head and traced his face with my shaking fingers. My husband appeared back in the room after about 15 minutes. The whole incident was just too much for him to handle and for the first time ever, he almost passed out. This is a man who pulls mangled victims from car accidents and encounters people on a daily basis at the worst point in their life-and is usually unscathed. Having your child go through pain and fear just does something to your heart as a parent and messes with your mind. Finally Grant took one big yawn and fell asleep against my chest. I finally felt a bit of peace. In the next couple of hours the mood in the room slowly begin to change from fear to hope. Each person we encountered had good news regarding test results, and we were quickly coming out of the dark hole I felt that we were sinking into. After all was said and done and going through a night in the ER, and a morning at the pediatricians and a couple more tests we finally got home at 1:00 pm that next day. The cause of this whole horror was bilateral ear infections. How horrible did I feel, I am an ear specialist and missed this? Guilt ridden and exhausted I finally crashed and put the entire event to rest, and so did the little boy who was now a year old. What a crappy birthday, certainly one to remember, but for all the wrong reasons. Next year I demand a do over, my guy deserves so much more. I love you Grant and tonight I was tested to the extreme as a parent, but it was clear to me that I would do anything for you, and always will. 01.26.11

It's for the monsters.

I have learned that I should never be surprised at what my four year old comes up with. Her thoughts and imagination are entertainment at it's finest and I am the captive audience waiting and wanting more. Havely's vocabulary has become never ending and her use of it is pretty precise. She has told me lately that things are impressive to her, she is amazed at some things she encounters and the list goes on. Last night I was putting her to bed and she ran up to Buster the Beta's tank and gasping for air told me to come and look at his babies. I walk over and in one of her plastic tea cups there are about 50 clear beads. I was amazing at how inventive she had been and then immediately perplexed at where in the hell all these beads had magically appeared from. I said, "Havely where did the new eggs come from?" She quickly dashed across the room and retrieved a beanie moose she had that was now beanie-less. She said the moose was tired of having a heavy butt so she took care of it, and when she did both her and the moose were happy. Well of course, I would be happy too if someone magically made my bottom instantly "less heavy". It was time to brush the teeth and she told me that she needed privacy and that she could be trusted to get the sugar bugs off herself. She told me that there was 15,000 billion of them and she managed to get rid of them all. I said that is some amazing toothpaste and brushing. Now it is time for her to be tucked into bed. I pull back the covers and where the usual mob of stuffed animals are, there is also a lightening mcqueen baseball bat. I had to look away so she didn't see me laughing. She jumped into bed and I sat down and grabbed the handle of the bat and asked why there was a bat in her bed. Her eyes got wide and she said, "mom, it is so I can hit the monsters on the head at night." Who is going to argue with that? Not me, no way she has a baseball bat! 01.25.2011

Grant is walking!

We knew it was close, Grant has been pulling himself up and walking around furniture since the beginning of November, and each day the little guy became increasingly more daring and faster at the task. I have watched him take one step from the table to the couch, or reaching out for me, but then he would just fall into me and laugh at his accomplishment. The other night we were all in the family room playing and I was farther away from him and he turned, smiled, took in a big breath and started walking to me. He took four steps and then fell into my arms with his 8 tooth grin so proud and happy with himself. Then Jaaron and I sat across each other on the floor and watched him stumble back and fourth between us, increasing the distance slowly. He was walking! It is so amazing to watch your kids reach their milestones in life, but it is also bittersweet. My little baby is growing up so fast. As we sat and watched him walk, I remembered Havely's first steps when i was on the phone ordering Chinese take-out, she was so little, and now it seems like so long ago. I looked over and there is my little girl encouraging her brother to walk to her as well, and cheering him on. I couldn't help but beam with happiness when I watched this, and I laughed out loud when Havely said, "Santa is going to be so proud of him!" This was a great night in the Thomas house, and I am so glad that I have a front row seat in my child's lives, watching them grow, even if it is too fast. 01.06.2011

It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.

It is hard to get into the Christmas spirit when there is no snow. I grew up having white, sometimes complete white out Christmases, so when I moved to Texas it was hard to realize that Christmas was on it's way when it was 70 degrees outside and not one snowflake in sight. Every year I have to find ways to help the spirit of Christmas enter my soul and warm my heart. Some years I felt luke warm even, and the holiday season passed and I really didn't even notice. I have discovered that Christmas with children is different though. I get to see Christmas through their eyes now, and the view is enchanting! We put up our tree last week, and Havely continues to reach higher and higher every year. This year we had a little rascal crawling about that tried to undecorate wherever he could reach. So we had Havely complaining that she was doing such an awesome and inspiring job and he was destroying her chi. This bickering goes on constantly lately and I am pretty sure my son is going to be a giant instigator just like his Wa Wa.
We listen to Christmas music whenever we are in the car and Havely has picked up on some of the words on the classic songs. This morning on the way to daycare with my two kids snuggly warm in the backseat, Havely with her white faux fur, and Grant with his sweet dog hat and fuzzy blue coat, we were listening to the songs of the season and I noticed that Grant was chiming in with us. It made me smile from ear to ear to hear her sweet little voice tell me that all she wants for Christmas is me (of course mom is the you in that song), and Grant is ba ba baing with the beat of the tune. Of course I am belting out in my best American idol voice as well, with some car dancing of course. The song ends and let it snow comes on with a joyous intro, and Grant starts in again, and this time Havely announces, "Mom, Grant is singing all the wrong words!" I said Havely let him sing, he doesn't know any words yet! Then she looks at him and tells him, you are singing the wrong words, but one day you will be smart like me, Santa will help you with that. Santa is one cool guy to bring smarts to kids too, wonder why he skips over so many kids, because there are plenty of stupid adults, wait we don't say stupid, ok let's go with half-witted. Anyway, I have found it easier to feel the holiday spirit, and enjoy the season for what it was intended. Spending time with loved ones, enjoying the magic, and simply believing, but I still tear up when I hear White Christmas or I'll be home for Christmas. 12.07.10

The three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for.

Just the other day I was complaining about the fact that I was walking through the isles at Target before Halloween and there were already Christmas decorations up. It was too early, I was not ready for that yet! Now Here I sit on December 7th and I wonder where the time went. My son is almost a year old and my daughter is this little girl and no longer a baby. She told me the other day when we were putting up the tree that she thought the tree was inspiring. Where did she learn a word like that and how does she know how to use it? I told her she was inspiring to me and she said that is awesome. This kid cracks me up. Grant is as cute as can be, mouth with 4 teeth on the top and bottom, the smile that warms my heart the second I see him. He loves me so much and gets so excited when I walk in the door, he even hugs me when I pick him up. My husband and I have been together for eight years now, longest relationship I have ever had, and I am so lucky to have him in my life. We actually went on a date the other night to the place where we first had dinner together, Logan's Steakhouse, all orchestrated by him. Even after 8 years the guy still can be romantic and thoughtful. I am so lucky to have all that I do in my life, this is way more than I expected and I am thankful for all of it. My job is going very well, I have such passion for helping people and I have even began a foundation in Alison's honor that helps people hear who cannot afford it. It makes my weeks go by fast because each day I love what I do, so I get to enjoy the work week as well as the weekend! We got to spend some time with my grandparents recently as well as my parents. Everyone flew in for Angela's baby shower. It was wonderful to have family time and to celebrate the two little ones that are entering our family. I can't wait to have these babies here, to be an aunt, and to see my sister as a mother. See I can't even stop gushing about all the stuff in my life that just plain rocks. So there you have it my three essentials that make my happiness. My family, my career and being a mom, and all that is coming along for us in the future! 2010 has been a fantastic year! 12.07.10